Victoria Melody & new set design

Posted on May 14, 2016 by Charlotte Roberts

Today I brought all my props into the performance space. I originally had many more objects, however I decided that having the stage bursting at the seams with props, along with the glitter ball effect, would be visually too much. Therefore, I decided to only use objects that are referred to in the dialogue, or relevant to the overall piece. I feel that objects such as the giant teddy portrays my immaturity and desire not to grow up, yet the theatrical masks hanging from the sign quoting inspiration slogans portrays my constant desire to perform.

Having a family photo on stage was a choice influenced by Victoria Melody’s performance Hair Peace (2016). When speaking about her sister and friend, she projected images of them onto TV screens. As an audience member, I felt that I knew the people she was explaining on a more intimate level, despite the fact that they were never present.

However, what makes my performance different to Hair Peace is that the people I’m talking about are present. My family and boyfriend will be in the audience. By having the photos of them on stage, the audience can make the connection between the photo and the physical people without me specifically referencing their presence. Earlier on in the creation process, I had intended to project photos of my family onto TV screens in an almost identical format to Victoria Melody. However, after finding out that the people I would be speaking about would actually be present, I decided that projecting obvious images of them was unnecessary, and a more subtle approach would be more suitable.

An alternative ending

Posted on May 2, 2016 by Charlotte Roberts

After developing my performance structure and the self-revelation of the final section, I found that the ending I had originally planned, didn’t conclude the show as powerfully as I had intended. At some silly hours of the morning, I randomly came up with the final line to my performance: ‘Our relationships are the orchestra, and we are the conductor, and we conduct our own metamorphosis’. I was planning to end it simply by saying this line after the making the music. Through working on my script and understanding the intentions behind each section, I found that I wanted a more powerful ending. Something a little more symbolic and dramatic to end on.

I decided to go with the obvious symbolic ending, not because it was an easy option, but because I felt it clearly symbolises the next stage of my play, leaving the audience with a slight cliffhanger. I decided to get changed out of my pjs into normal clothes (preparing myself for the outside world), packing a bag with a few objects around me (although I’m leaving, my family will always be a part of my adventure), and leave the stage (leaving my cocoon and chasing my dreams). The lights will gradually dim to a very low brightness, almost off. I will go to turn off the freestanding stage lamp that will be in the far right corner, but change my mind, leaving a small spotlight shining. Before I leave the stage, I will stand in the spotlight and deliver the final line – ‘our relationships are the orchestra, and we are the conductor, and we conduct our own metamorphosis’; I shall then proceed to leave through the small entrance in the curtain.

This is the lamp that will be left lit. This lamp is highly symbolic in my performance for many reasons. My dad made this for my Christmas present. He got in contact with my old childhood theatre company and brought the lamp off them, and he spent months restoring it. This not only represents my relationship with my dad and family, it also represents my life long dream to have a career in the arts, and my parents support for this dream.

The butterfly effect & metamorphosis

Posted on April 9, 2016 by Charlotte Roberts

The Butterfly Effect

Whilst trying to explain to a friend what my performance is about, I found myself talking about ‘leaps of faith’ and how one small decision can effect your whole life. For example, in my case, if I choose to say ‘yes’ to opportunities that take me further afield, there may be success that could alter my life completely. This made me think back to a film I had watched, Eric Bress and Mackye Gruber’s thriller The Butterfly Effect (2004). I did some research on the actual butterfly effect theory and it seemed to link very nicely to my show. This age-old paradox suggests that even the smallest of incidents, such as a butterfly flapping its wings, can significantly alter the outcome. It can ultimately create a domino effect. All this because ‘you took the risk to flap your wings one more time’ (Russell, 2011, xxiii). Victoria Howard and Allan Jay Friedman’s book The Butterfly Effect: How To Become Who You Already Are (2011) encourages courage and wisdom in the decisions we make, suggesting that we should ‘remove the would haves and could haves from our vocabulary’ (Howard and Friedman, 2011, 21). They stress how important it is to ‘remember that you have absolutely no limitations, other than the limitations you impose upon yourself’ (ibid, 73). They state that the butterfly effect can encourage people to break free and emerge from their cocoons of content, and regain control of their own destiny. This made me consider the metamorphosis process of a butterfly.

butterfly

Metamorphosis

Friedman and Howard also use the butterfly effect draw parallels to the metamorphosis process of a butterfly. They comment that ‘we are a metaphorical example of that creature that must go through the transformational process of shedding it’s skin (our clutter) just like a caterpillar does, in order to see the light and evolve into that beautiful butterfly it already is’ (ibid, 66). This notion of becoming the person you already are really resonates with me. I like the idea that we are all these amazing people who are just waiting to take that leap of faith in order to become the people we desire to be. I can also understand how we have an undeniable need to express ourselves, spread our wings of creativity, and fly headfirst into all the possibilities life offers us. Making one small decision could provide the opportunity to expose your true selves, ‘be the best you can be and to follow your dreams’ (ibid). Friedman and Howard state something that I found quite inspirational. They state ‘that way you can fulfill your purpose-driven destiny to be a model for other butterflies, like yourself, to emulate’ (ibid, 73). I know it is a lot to ask of a performance, but I would love to create something that may inspire others take that leap from their norm.

Link to my performance

The butterfly effect and metamorphosis link very well into my current state of mind, and thus my performance. I am at a position in my life where every single decision I make could influence the outcome of my life. I can’t let any of them pass by because I will live a life of “should haves” and “could haves”, and always wonder “what if”. I see my relationships with my family and boyfriend like the butterflies cocoon. They are a vital part of my life, as I cannot develop to my fullest potential without them. They provide a safe haven where life is kind and simple and, in a way, provide a place where I am blissfully ignorant and protected from the outside world. However in order for me to become this developed butterfly, I need to break free from these comforting cocoons. However reluctant I may be to leave these cocoons, I understand that it is necessary for my development in life, or fear I may stay a cocoon forever.

Work Cited

Bress, E., Gruber, M. (dir.) (2004) The Butterfly Effect. [film] New Line Cinema.

Howard, V., Friedman, A. J. (2011) The Butterfly Effect: How To Become Who You Already Are. Bloomington: Author House.

Russell, R. G. (2011) The Butterfly Effect of Grace: Simple words, Simple acts, Simply amazing. Untied States of America: Xulon Press.

Little book of notes

Posted on April 4, 2016 by Charlotte Roberts

Over the Easter break I took the opportunity to gain some vital material for my show. As my show is based on my relationships with my family and boyfriend I realised that surrounding myself with these people could put me in a position where I could find the most raw thoughts and feelings. Within their book Creating Solo Performance, Sean Bruno and Luke Dixon stated that ‘your brain is always working. It may be doing some of your best work on your performance when you are least aware of it’ (Bruno and Dixon, 2015, 35). They suggested to ‘keep a notebook by you at all times. A little one that you can slip in a pocket and pull out at a moments notice’ (ibid). Therefore, I did carry a little notebook around with me everywhere I went, writing down things that I overheard, felt, or simply ideas or phrases I thought could be useful. This turned out to be extremely useful and I found myself purposely listening out for things to write down. The following are the notes that I gathered over the Easter break. Most of them are about my family rather than my boyfriend. Many of them do not make sense, and will not be used, however they have influenced my overall thought process considerably.

My Notes

I am like an ember, I could burn out into a little pile of ash, or with a little bit of effort, I could erupt into a spectacular burning inferno.

I am at a literal crossroad in life. I am at the warp and weft of life (sewing threads).

They’ve got this emotional hold on me

The power is at our fingertips, we’ve just got to turn it up

My mum got my sister and I an Easter bunny toy. Ever since we were little she got us a rabbit or chick toy with an Easter egg, and for some reason, even though my sister and I are 18 and 22 now, and have absolutely no desire for this anymore, she still gets us these little toys. It is things like this that make it impossible to “grow up”. My mum still treats us to soft cuddly toys to keep us “her little girls”. A sign that she’s not ready for us to grow up. Grasping at every childhood tradition for as long as she can, which as a mother, I completely understand.

There is a big hole in my life where achievement should be. Where ambition is clambering to get through. A podium where first place is still up for grabs

Over Easter one of my oldest friends broke the news that she is moving to Houston, USA, to start a new life with her boyfriend. Although this broke my heart to know that half the world would now divide us, I cannot deny that it provided emotions that were just what I needed for my show. This is what I wrote about this: While I’m sat in a caravan, in the pouring rain, in the middle of a sheep field, playing our 10th game of rummy of the evening, my friend is grabbing life with both hands and moving to America. She was always the one who cried at sleepovers to go home, the one who wouldn’t go exploring when where were on holiday. I was always the explorative, independent one. How the roles have reversed, how the tables have turned. What have I become?

Everyone will grow up, but never grow apart

Like branches on a tree, we grow in different directions, yet our roots remain as one

Wanting to be part of my family, yet having my own life

I’ve been away at uni for three years and I’ve really established my own lifestyle

I am/was the free sprit of my family

A new start. My “Hawk on a cork”- I have always been restless, I have always had itchy feet, and if you see me at my finest, I have never been quite normal. My mum and I call this my ‘hawk on a cork”. To this day I’m really not sure where this derived from, but it seems to have stuck and has now become the mantra I live by. It symbolises my uniqueness, my craziness, my darn right oddness and spontaneity. It is my hawk on a cork that is driving me towards my dreams, to be explorative, to be confident, to be independent. However my growing pains are proving hard for me to fly away from. It is my love for my family and friends that can sometimes cause this hawk to clip her own wings. However, this hawk will then find a 9 to 5 job, get a mortgage, get a house and fill it with Ikea’s finest cream and beige furniture with pink cushions and bows. Now this hawk was never a fan of the bows, cream and beige, Ikea, and all the things most people desire. This hawk wants reds and oranges, silvers, golds fluorescent greens, a multi-colored wonderland of possibilities. I cherish my relationships, and I love every aspect of every single one of them. However, I’ve realised that to keep my fire stoked, I may have to make the jump. I do not want to abandon a lifetime of love for a spontaneous selfish gut instinct, but sometimes you have to take one step back to go two steps forward.

Work Cited

Bruno, S., Dixon, L. (2015) Creating Solo Performance. Oxfordshire: Routledge.

First performance concept – Freedom & stillness

Posted on February 20, 2016 by Charlotte Roberts

I want to create an autobiographical piece based on my constant battle between my aspirations and my family and relationship ties back at home. I never intended to by tied down by love, or have a relationship with my family that would make me think twice about leaving. I grew up very much with the aspirations to travel the world, achieve my goals, and chase my dream. I have always wanted to be an actress in musical theatre; I want to go to drama school, and go wherever it needs me to go to achieve this. I was always independent and had no intention to be tied down by anything or anyone. However life threw at me things I couldn’t ignore.

My relationship with my boyfriend

My relationship with my sister

The pressures of ‘family time’ from my parents.

Through music, technology and storytelling, I want to metaphorically stage these three aspects. Stage my internal battle between my love for home, and my need for a career. How I feel tethered to home life and unable to chase my dreams. I want to be sat in a spotlight, centre stage, on a drum box with a loop system by my feet. Outside of the spotlight there will be objects that represent my goals. I want to be loosely attached to three restraints (representing the three aspects of my life) that will be made from three types of material (chain, wire etc.). These will be loose enough for me to move within the spotlight but no further. The show will begin with me playing a drumbeat that will be recorded into the loop system and played under the entire show (this represents myself).

I shall talk about each aspect of my life individually (all the while sat on the box to represent my lack of mobility in life). Each time I speak about an aspect, I shall create a sound/tune/beat with the type of material that represents them. For example, a wire represents my sister as she use to play violin, therefore I play the wire with a violin bow and record the tune. Each tune is recorded into the loop box and layered on top on one another and the drum beat. After each aspect is talked about there will be a metaphorical musical track that represents my struggle between home life and aspirations.

At this moment in time, I’m not sure whether to include this. However to finish the performance I would write a song to sing along to the track that was created. As my aspiration is to do with music, I feel song and music would work well to portray this theme.

I really like the phrase ‘freedom and stillness‘ (Greenstreet, 2015) that Laurie Anderson used when asked how she would describe love. I feel it captures both the freedom and happiness one feels when in love, yet stillness through being emotionally tethered to this person. I feel like this would be the perfect title for my performance.

Work cited

Greenstreet, R. (2015) Q&A: Laurie Anderson. [online] London: The Guardian. Available from http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/may/16/laurie-anderson-interview [Accessed 20 February 2016].

Solo Performance – RobertsC

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